How often have we heard someone say, “I want to quit drinking”, and we wonder why he doesn’t quit? What does it really mean when people say that they want to quit drinking?
Chances are these are not responsible drinkers. For one, responsible drinkers enjoy the experience of having alcohol in their body and in their lives so they don’t see any reason to stop drinking. For another, if responsible drinkers want to stop drinking, for whatever reason, they usually don’t have a problem doing so.
So, it is very possible that the person talking is addicted to alcohol. He or she recognizes the adverse effects that alcohol addiction is bringing to his or her life. Maybe health is becoming an issue. Or maybe relationships are breaking apart. Or maybe his or her job is in jeopardy. So, there is a “want” to stop drinking, but obviously cannot do it, otherwise the statement could have been simpler as “I have stopped drinking.”
Perhaps this person has tried to quit, had a few successes, and then went back to drinking. For whatever the circumstances here, this is a person who needs help. Here are some of the way you can help him or her:
1. Begin by focusing on the motivation
What are the reasons for stopping? Make sure that these motivations are doable and achievable. To say that “I will stop drinking so that my cancer will be cured” might program the person to failure. Make it more doable, “I will stop drinking so that my body will respond better to cancer treatment.”
To say that “I will quit drinking so that my wife will come back to me” may not be that achievable and may push the person towards drinking when it fails. A more practical motivation is something like, “I will stop drinking so that I can take better control of my life.”
2. Encourage a medical check up
It is possible that the alcohol content in the body requires detox. There are withdrawal symptoms such as hallucinations and seizures which can even be fatal. Doctors should be consulted before any attempt to stop drinking to ensure safety.
3. Work out a plan to avoid the temptation to drink
It is not so much willpower but programming. This includes identifying triggers and risk-situations. This could take the form of anxiety or loneliness. Or it could be a particular time of the day or a specific day of the week. It could be a picture on the wall of somebody that reminds the person of the pains in life.
4. Craft a relapse strategy
Help the person to deal with the relapses which often occur. There are ways to deal with the frustration of having given in to the temptation. Even before the relapse happens, the person should have written a plan how to deal with them.
5. Set milestones and celebrate them accordingly
It is important to set milestones in this difficult process. It could be a 30-day mark. So that means celebrating the 30th, the 60th, the 90th, the 120th day and so on. Celebrating is important so that the person feels more motivated. It could be a simple vacation, a spa treatment, a valuable gift, or whatever is appropriate.
When living with an alcoholic, sometimes an intervention will not work. Sometimes, it is simply waiting for the person to say, “I want to quit drinking.”
