I can answer the question … can alcoholics drink in moderation … by simply saying that in my own circumstances I was able quit drinking, to reassess and change my life, change the way I viewed alcohol forever, and return to drinking … in moderation.
I used to drink every single day, I needed to have a drink in order to feel normal, I couldn’t sleep without having a drink, and I went through a lot of the symptoms of withdrawal once I decided to quit. Now, I do drink in moderation, I have developed the skills for drinking socially and I no longer need alcohol to function.
The thing is I never considered myself to be an “alcoholic”. I had all the symptoms of an alcoholic and if I hadn’t stopped when I did I would more than likely have landed myself in an early grave. My problem was I used alcohol as a way of hiding from my troubles.
I live in a culture in which it is perfectly acceptable to binge drink, or at least it was until the last two years. When I was young nobody said it was wrong, it was all just part of growing up. Nobody knew what binge drinking was … every weekend we would simply go out with the lads for a few pints. Of course we always knew that those “few pints” would mean drinking until we passed into unconsciousness or vomiting everything that we’d swallowed. Then we’d stagger into a taxi or get home on foot depending on how much money we had left. Once we got home … you would always fall unconscious into a comatose sleep. All the signs and symptoms of alcohol poisoning, two or three times a week.
I first started drinking when I was about 15 years of age and I hated the taste of the stuff. That first escapade into drinking was when a friend and I scraped a couple of pounds together and stopped a succession of people on their way into the local pub saying that our Da had sent us up to get some beer for him but we weren’t allowed in. We eventually convinced one old fella to buy us a six pack of Smithwicks… Irish ale.
I thought it was disgusting. I truly thought I was going to be poisoned by the stuff. It smelled like vomit and tasted like I imagined furniture polish would taste. But, peer pressure being peer pressure, I persevered and consumed my half of the bottles.
That’s when it all started, and it continued throughout the rest of my teenage years and well into my 20s until my son was born. Then, I cut way back on my drinking for a while. I married just after my son was born, and my new wife and I started a life which would eventually involve drinking every day. That life ended tragically and I continued drinking.
Then I met somebody who made me see what I was doing. She was normal. She didn’t come from the same working-class background as I did, and she made me see that alcohol consumption didn’t have to be done that way. She basically changed everything about my life and made me see everything in a different and much better light. I had just lost my license because of drunk driving, I had lost my job because I needed my license for work, and she convinced me to stop and reassess. She convinced me to look at myself and see sense.
Although I have started drinking again, I will never drink to the same degree again. I see alcohol as a means to an end, a way of relaxing and socializing. It played a part in any social occasion but doesn’t need to be there. Before, it was the reason for any social occasion, the excuse to have an occasion … social or not.
So, when anyone asks me can alcoholics drink in moderation, I know that the answer is yes, in my case. There are many people who can probably never drink again. I consider myself lucky, very lucky, not because I can drink again but because I am still alive and was fortunate enough to meet somebody who could show me another way before it was too late.